Emotional Intelligence

Based on my quiz results, I see that I am not good at reading other people’s emotions or dealing with my own emotions as I had thought I was. I know that there are many areas in my life that I need to perfect, and after learning about the 10 EQ tips that we saw in the video I believe they can all be useful in my life. Some of them I actually already apply to my life on a daily basis, but a couple of them I think I really need to work on.

            One of the tips that I need to use is #2: Use your thoughts as instructions. He says to write down 2 statements as instructions, and 3 behaviors you want significant people in your life to do. This is very important because my mind is always racing. If I know exactly what I want to do, and what I want others to do it will help me to put things into perspective. I will be able to communicate more effectively, not just with myself but with others as well.

            Another tip that I will incorporate in my life is #5: Learn to relax. This is a very challenging one for me because I get excited so easily, and I let the smallest things upset me. One thing that upsets me the most is hearing others tell me to relax. I hear this a lot, and while I think that I am calm already, I realize that the tone that I am using does not seem calm. I need to learn to watch how I am talking to others so that I do not confuse them and give off the wrong emotion.

            Based on the test results it showed that I am in the 58^th percentile, I always thought that I was a good problem solver. I call myself an expert troubleshooter; whenever something breaks or goes wrong, I know how to figure out why it did not work out, and I am able to figure out ways to get things back on track. I believe that the best person to learn from is myself. I always learn from my mistakes and use every event as a lesson on what I should and should not do. The EQ test said that I am unable to deal with my own emotions. The results of the test were not as clear as I hoped they would be, but from this result I think that I mask my issues, by helping others with their issues. I forget about my problems because I am always focused on troubleshooting a friend’s problems and helping them understand what went wrong. As a result of this my own issues begin to disappear and I am unable to really understand why some things happened.

Interpersonal Communication and Conflict

I use different techniques based on the relationships that I have with certain people. In a relationship, I think that I am the best person to argue with because I never win an argument. I know that I definitely do not use the diffusing technique because I love to argue. But in the end, I back down, not because I want to end the argument, but because the other person’s argument is much more convincing that I have nothing else to say. One technique that I use which does the opposite of what it is supposed to do is the exploration technique. I always pay attention to people’s attitudes whether it is texting or talking and when a person changes their attitude I automatically think something is wrong. I keep asking questions and try to figure out what the problem is, and in return, an argument is started. I consider myself a trouble maker and I know that I do this which is why I end up losing the argument and apologize at the end.

When talking to my friends, the technique that I use is trying to identify the problem. This technique works in relationships with your mate, but a lot of times guys are not as open to talk about things as girls, which is why this technique works the best with friends. My friends and I rarely get into an argument, but whenever we do, we try not to point the finger at anyone, instead we think about what we both did wrong, and how our words were misinterpreted.

I rarely get mad; if I do get mad the anger only lasts for about 5 minutes at the most. I tend to get other people mad a lot, because when I am mad, they get mad and their anger usually lasts longer than mine does.  In this case I am trying to diffuse the situation, and blame myself for the situation taking place.

Self Disclosure and Social Networking

When online, some people do not know the difference between sharing too much and sharing just enough. People think that by adding people to their page online that they know means that it is okay to say certain things. What many fail to realize is that they may know the people from the past, but have no clue about how they are living now. Just as we read in the article, the girl knew her friends from when she was younger, but people change and she had no clue about their lifestyles. I disclosure is very different face to face than online, because you never know what people like to say. I have always been a cautious person because things stay online, and a person can easily copy and paste a message, or repeat what you said to other people. I try to never disclose too much to people who I am not close to.